The Price of Fame: Are You Willing to Sacrifice Your Child's Well-Being for Their Success?

It used to absolutely stun me to see the lengths some people would go to in hopes of making their child famous. I do not mean encouraging a dream, enrolling them in a class, taking them to an audition, or helping them build confidence. I mean the lengths people would go when the dream of fame became bigger than everything else.

I grew up in a place many celebrities grew up in, like Nick Clooney, Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Carmen Electra, Halle Berry, and many others who had Ohio or regional roots. So the thought that someone from an ordinary family, an ordinary school, or an ordinary town could become famous was not some impossible story. We had already seen it happen.

Because of that, it was not unusual to see parents thinking, "Why not my child?"

And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that question.

There is nothing wrong with looking at your child and seeing talent or believing they may have something special and there is nothing wrong in giving them opportunities you may never have had yourself. The question is what happens after that.

How far do you go?

Over the years, I have watched people believe that simply getting close enough to someone famous might somehow open the door. They would do anything to get their kid in front of "the right people". They would walk up to a celebrity and ask questions and literally ask how to get their kid seen. They wanted their child noticed by someone who might know someone who might know someone else. I have heard more times than I care to mention "you gotta network within the system".

But being near someone famous probably will not make your child famous.

A photograph with a celebrity is a wonderful memory. It is not a career plan.

Knowing someone can certainly open a door. Connections exist in every business, and entertainment is no different. But once that door opens, your child still has to walk through it.

That is the part people sometimes forget.

A casting director can introduce your child to a producer, but your child still has to audition. An agent can submit them for a role, but your child still has to walk into the room or turn on

that camera and perform. Someone can recommend your child, but once the audition begins, the recommendation cannot read the lines, take direction, show personality, or handle the pressure for them.

At some point, the child has to be ready.

I have always believed that there is a tremendous difference between chasing fame and preparing for opportunity.

Chasing fame can become chaotic. You begin looking for the person who can make something happen. You chase every audition, every celebrity encounter, every event, every promise, and every person who says, "I can make your child a star." But, chances are Joe down the road who wants to manage your kids career is probably not the best plan.

I have and will continue to say it LOUD you do not need classes to become famous but it could give you the edge over another. The confidence built in class for a child learning how to walk into a room and introduce herself without freezing is priceless. Learning how to articulate, speak clearly when someone asks a question. Discovering how to take direction without becoming embarrassed. It is learning what happens when a casting professional says, "That was good. Now give it to me completely differently." It is being able to try again without showing disappointment. That doesn't sound nearly as exciting as being "discovered," but it may matter far more when a real opportunity finally comes.

I have seen naturally talented children who could light up a room, but once they were placed in an unfamiliar professional setting, they did not know what to do. Suddenly there were lights, cameras, adults watching, marks on the floor, instructions they had never heard before, and people making decisions. The Childs talent hadn't disappeared.

The child was simply unprepared for the environment. That is one of the reasons I believe so much in learning before the stakes are high. A child does not have to take acting classes or modeling classes in order to become successful. There is no certificate required before someone can audition. Some children are naturally comfortable and pick things up quickly.

But there is something to be said for having practiced before the moment becomes a life changing moment and that is when it matters.

If your child has already learned how to properly introduce herself, how to stand in front of a camera, how to take direction, how to perform a short scene, how to recover from a mistake, and how to keep going when she becomes nervous, then a first real audition does not feel quite so foreign.

That can make a difference. There is another side of this that parents have to think about too.

There are people who understand exactly how badly some families want fame for their children, and they know how to use that dream. "This is your child's big chance."

"We can make her famous." "We know the right people." "You need to pay today."

"Your child has exactly what Hollywood is looking for."

Those words can be powerful when they are being said about someone you love.

That is when parents have to become even more careful. There is a big difference between investing in something that teaches your child, gives them experience, helps them grow, or provides a legitimate service and paying someone because they have promised a shortcut to fame. Shortcuts are very attractive in this business. However they rarely ever pan out.

They are also where many families get hurt.

Sometimes it does take time. I'm in the Spotlight, has had numerous people message to say I see _____ on the models page, can we set up a meeting? They get to the meeting the parent tries too hard to convince, and the child is terrified to silence. It is important for parents to monitor but the more a parent interferes the less work the child will get no matter how talented. I would rather see a parent and a child spend time learning, practicing, performing, meeting people naturally, and discovering whether this is really what they love, than see a parent spend thousands of dollars trying to force one magical opportunity.

Real connections are often made in a much less dramatic ways.

Your child takes a class and meets an instructor, participates in a production and meets a director.Then attends a legitimate event and meets a photographer.

Then goes to an audition and a casting professional remembers her/him.

Someone sees that he/she listens well. Someone notices that he/she is prepared.

Someone remembers that he/she was polite, professional, and pleasant to work with.

One relationship leads to another.That is how many connections are actually built.

You do not always walk into this business knowing the right people. Sometimes you become connected to the right people because you showed up and did the work. And somewhere in all of this, we cannot forget that we are talking about children.

A child should never feel responsible for making a family's dream come true. They should never believe that Mom or Dad will be disappointed if they do not book the commercial, win the pageant, get the callback, or land the role.

Let them dream.

Let them be excited.

Let them practice.

Let them learn.

Let them fail occasionally.

Let them hear no.

Let them discover that hearing no does not mean they were not good enough.

And let them remain children while they are figuring all of this out.

Maybe your child will become famous someday. Maybe she will become a working actor or model without ever becoming a household name. Maybe she will discover that she loves being behind the camera more than being in front of it. Maybe the confidence she develops will take her into broadcasting, business, public speaking, marketing, photography, fashion, content creation, or something completely different. None of that makes the journey wasted.

That is one of the ideas behind I'm In The Spotlight.

The goal should not simply be to get a child close enough to fame that someone notices them. The goal should be helping them become confident enough, prepared enough, knowledgeable enough, and experienced enough that when an opportunity does appear, they know what to do with it. No one person, agent, school can guarantee fame.

But you can help a young person become ready. And after all these years, I think that may be one of the most valuable things we can give them.

Do not teach your child to chase famous people. Teach them to become someone people remember.

Being close to the Spotlight and being ready for the Spotlight are two very different things.